I have never liked obituaries or funerals. After attending several faithful saints' funerals here in Cleveland and Daddy's on Saturday, my opinion might change. His service was by far one of the most joyful occasions I may have ever gone to. We sang three hymns - "Like a River Glorious", "How Sweet & Awesome is the Place", and "An Can it Be". Somehow Mama managed to out sing everyone there. Someone also said that the 20 or so Covenant friends that came were singing every word without a hymnal down the packed north wall of the church. The service was truly a comfort as I imagined Daddy claiming his eternal crown in Christ.
My opinion of obituaries is unlikely to change, though. Yes, you can read about all the wonderful social and business accomplishments of someone, but what you don't read is how they truly lived day to day, and their family accomplishments. Here are some of the things I learned from my father, most of which are greater than what was in his obit.
1. I learned to drive - Daddy started letting me drive his extended cab, long wheel base, Ford 250 when I was about 11 or 12. He was a very patient and relaxed teacher (unlike my mother).
2. I learned that kissing a bald spot is not a substitute for Rogaine. Kissing his large bald spot as a child was our nightly ritual. I am pretty sure the antics of his 4 children only caused his hair to flee even faster than his genetics had predestined.
3. I learned how to identify boll worms, boll weevils, and all manner of row crop bugs. I was easily distracted by the beauty of each cotton blossom, the smell of blooming kudzu, and the sound of a beautiful brook that ran beside one of Stanley Ellis' fields in West. (I apologize to any farm losses I caused to Mr. Ellis that year by my negligence.) I didn't last but three years checking cotton for his farmers before I was assigned office duty and the easier task of checking his and Uncle Paul's cotton on the home place.
4. I learned how to bait a hook and cast a rod and reel. Daddy used to try to take us fishing a good bit. He usually spent more time untangling me and Robert's lines from each other, b/c we would cast right on top of each other - rather than catching fish, but it was fun all the same.
5. I learned how to hold his plane steady and make gentle ariel turns. Daddy used to take us flying on Sunday afternoons to get us out of Mama's hair, so she could take a nap. We would buzz around Lexington for an hour or so, and he would let us take turns sitting up front and hold the yoke. I never graduated to taking off or landing like my other siblings, but I think I am by far the best driver of the bunch, so its ok.
6. I learned what marriage ought to be. My parents were affectionate in front of us, they would leave little notes to each other, make time to go on dates with each other. Most recently they learned to ballroom dance.
7. I learned how to herd cows and deal with all kinds of livestock. I can still remember trying to get a rogue cow back into the pasture when I was already dressed for Sunday church. Daddy could have cared less what I had on. My job (at 90 lbs and 4.5' tall) was to stand in front of a 800lb cow and steer it back towards the gate.
8. He taught me that hard work and having fun weren't mutually exclusive. He was happier working cows, in a tractor, wading through a steamy cotton field, or driving down a bumpy turn row than just about any other time.
9. I learned the longest answers that no one could have imagined existed to questions I didn't really ask. (He was a tad long winded).
10. I learned chemistry and physics in the 9th grade when he substitute taught for our teacher on maternity leave. (He thought our physical science book wasn't detailed enough). I am just glad Mrs. Trehern came back before we were scheduled to have sex ed!!!
11. I learned how to change a tire (on above mentioned Ford truck), check oil, check radiator fluid, fill oil, check tire pressure, boost a dead battery, and all kinds of car maintenance.
12. Most importantly, I learned about God, and the importance of daily prayer and devotion. Daddy got up about 5 am every morning, fixed his coffee and spent the next 30 min to an hour in daily devotion. I wish I could say I was as disciplined as he was. Hopefully it won't take me another 30 years to get there.
There are hundreds more memories and lessons learned, but these were the ones that came to mind most quickly.
I miss you Daddy, but I go to sleep imagining you singing in the throne room of Jesus with your voice on key and a head full of hair. :-)
Newborn
One month
Two months
All smiles!!!
Hanging w/ big brother (do I look scared to you?)
